Brainstorming Practices

When deciding what to write about but detail is also important for how you tell your story add descriptive concrete details like we said and we will show you these two versions so let’s say our student from the brainstorming example is now ready to write her essay about how her family has helped her grow so let’s read this first version my mother works long hours to provide for me and my siblings often she does not come home until midnight as the eldest I am in charge of cooking meals for my brothers and sisters it was very hard at first but eventually I found ways to cook entire meals on a budget the key is to use a flavorful spices to create delicious dishes from this experience I learned how to be resourceful so you can tell that this is just an example of an essay that. Prepare for brainstorming by visiting

I might be writing based on the brainstorming that we’ve done and now let’s look at a version – there is something therapeutic about the smell of spices sautéing in a pan of caramelizing onions and there is nothing more relaxing after a long day at school than standing over the stove gently coaxing these ingredients in 30 minutes and for only 20 dollars I would have prepared I would have a delicious dinner prepared for me and for my four siblings and there was always enough left over for when my mother returned from her 12-hour shift at the hospital so you can probably tell that version 2 has concrete details while version 1 is more just of Italian kind of essay and it lacks details it’s very important to see here that on the right side version version 2 she did not need to or I I guess did not need to outright say that I am a resourceful person but I’ve just provided the details to show that instead of telling it.

So let’s let’s give you a chance to respond pop quiz which version shows instead of tells take some time to read both examples and then raise your hand when you’re done so that I can launch a poll to quiz I’ll give you a few more seconds all right so I’ve launched the poll please select the correct answer okay so yeah most of you have selected that si a shows instead of tells in comparison to si P great job so the second tip is that this is your story so don’t forget make sure the focus of the essay is on you and not on someone else so while it’s very much okay to write about how other people have influenced you and have effected your growth don’t let them be the focus of your essay your readers want to learn about you the applicant let’s read version one my mother’s hands never shake even when she is troubled she never shows it once when she received the phone call about my grandfather’s death her face distorted her lips quivered and tears streamed down her face but her hands remained still holding onto the vessel that delivered the bad news that is the trait of a good nurse inversion.

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